Does the length of a first date matter? Here's what I learned as a former professional matchmaker (2024)

FAQs

Does the length of a first date matter? Here's what I learned as a former professional matchmaker? ›

It all comes down to expectations. When I would inform people that they had a 45-minute rule, they were happy to consider this and felt that there was less pressure to commit to a full night together. If the chemistry was flowing, they could stay longer or enjoy the planning of a second date.

THE perfect first date is two hours long if the love is to last, a study found. Thirty-nine per cent claim they found true romance from an initial meeting that was no longer than 120 minutes.

On average, a first date should last a little less than three hours (2.72), and it takes respondents about four dates to feel comfortable with that person.

Key points. First dates are the lowest stakes of any point in a (potential) relationship. No matter how comfortable you are on a first date, you don't know the person and should proceed accordingly. The only information about the future you get from first dates is whether or not you want a second date.

No, and roughly half of first dates don't end in a kiss. Only about 53% of first dates actually end with a kiss. You should only kiss if it's what you both want. A guy who's truly interested in you will be happy to wait for your first kiss.

According to some studies, around 20% of first dates result in a second date, with a paltry 3% ending in marriages. And these numbers can vary greatly depending on your location, demographics, and preferences.

Off-the-Cuff or Judgmental Comments

This might seem obvious, but sometimes even playful teasing or fun-making can be off-putting before they know your sense of humor. A first date allows you to determine if you have chemistry or things in common. If you don't, be courteous during the date and don't plan another one.

“Of the first dates that go well, roughly 50 percent end with a first kiss,” says Rosenfeld, offering an estimate based on The Match Lab's data. In a small study conducted by The Match Lab of 100 single people, however, 68 percent said they were open to kissing on the first date.

A second study in 2017 asked men and women specifically how many dates they usually waited before having a sexual experience with their partner. On average, men reported waiting about five dates, and women reported a preference of waiting closer to nine dates. Overall the average was about eight dates.

Kiss on whichever date you feel comfortable. Many people wait until the end of a first, second, or third date; this gives you time to get to know each other. Gauge your date's interest before planting one to make sure they're receptive to kissing. If you're not positive they're up for it, ask.

How to tell if a girl enjoyed the first date? ›

There is no set limit, so it is really just up to you and your date to decide amongst yourselves. Some people get along so well that they'll spend the whole day (and night) together. Some people would rather keep it short to just a quick drink or lunch.

Ending on a high note: We tend to remember a first date based on the energy we leave with. So if you let a date drag on for 3 or 4 hours (sometimes even 5 or 6), you may be ending on a lull. Having a 1-hour first date will increase the chances of ending on an energetic high.

These successful pairings happened more often on Tuesdays than on any other day of the week. So, what time of the day should you plan your date? Tuesday dates that happen after 6 p.m. are the best for success. In fact, dates planned on Tuesday evenings turned out favorably 25% more often than those in the afternoon.

A good first date should let you get to know each other without forcing awkward conversation. Taking in a comedy show, visiting a museum, or getting active can help you find some common ground. Try something new together to create space for vulnerability and set the stage for a strong bond.