The rules to save your marriage and keep your life on track (2024)

All the talk last week was the news that “love rat” actor Andrew Buchan had been taken back by Amy Nuttall, the wife he left in January for another woman. It’s been the top water-cooler subject ever since – beating Meghan’s hat and shorts combo, rude bad Australians and “What is the weather doing?” – not because of the happy ending but because of Nuttall’s long list of terms and conditions for taking Buchan back. And one condition in particular has piqued our interest: that the couple, henceforth, observe the 777 Rule.

Here’s how the 777 Rule works: every seven days you go on a date, every seven weeks you go away for the night and every seven months the two of you head off on a romantic holiday. It might sound a tad prescriptive, and an à deux holiday almost twice a year could be one too many, but nevertheless we get the point. If you don’t put inthe regular maintenance the wheels may come off and you’ll regret the ensuing car wreck.

Anyway, you don’t need to be rebuilding a relationship to adopt the 777 Rule, you may just want to keep it ticking over, or you might care to apply it to other areas of your life.

Relationship maintenance

Every seven days you change out of your WFH uniform into something less loose and comfy. Every seven weeks you do something about your upper lip and toenails. Every seven months you book a table for two in the pub and make a note not to mention one of the seven banned topics. These will vary a bit but will generally include: why you listened to Porky Burlington about the mortgage and not Us; and why are we going to your third cousin’s wedding in Stornaway when we could have been staying with the Whatsits in Greece?

Friendship maintenance

Every seven days you send a text. Every seven weeks you make a plan. Every seven months you meet up. (If you’re doing this with 12 friends you’re reasonably busy).

Diet

Every seven days you weigh yourself (any more frequently and the week is ruined). Every seven weeks you ban carbs and aim not to eat anything before midday. Every seven months you go for a long stretch of being practically vegetarian and eating fermented foods, or whatever the latest advice is (could be eat meat only and skip the veg). Then repeat.

Drinking

Every seven days you take a day off. Every seven weeks you have four alcohol-free days (even if this has been precipitated by a very heavy weekend with the Whatsits). Every seven months you do Dry January/June – Whatever, or make a really good stab at it.

Exercise

Every seven hours you do calf stretches at your desk. Every seven days you go to a Pilates class or similar. Every seven weeks you take an inventory of the classes you have not attended and why (drinking in Dry June) and lock yourself into a weekly routine, either by buddying up with a scary friend you would not dare bail on at the last minute, or by paying a lot up front. The former is safer.

Parenting young adults

Every seven days you send a “Just checking in” message. Every sevenweeks you send a Fam Whatsapp message announcing you are definitely organising a family holiday and asking for dates. Every seven months youpanic and book them all non-refundable tickets to Cornwall and a theatre performance featuring Jodie Comer/Paul Mescal (aka actors they will show up for).

Work

Every seven days you switch out of idling mode into all engines firing. Every seven weeks you are first in the office and at your desk, hammering away at your keyboard, when the others roll in. Every seven months you dress up and stand tall, thereby creating the impression you are job-interviewing and they’d better not be taking you for granted.

Good luck.

Have you tried the 777 Rule? How did it impact your life? Please let us know in the comments below

The rules to save your marriage and keep your life on track (2024)

FAQs

The rules to save your marriage and keep your life on track? ›

The “777” rule involves going on a date with your partner once a week, going away for a night together once every seven weeks and going on holiday alone together once every seven months. When I'm asked to trial it on my marriage of 25 years, I am – to be frank – sceptical. Our lives are already one huge “to-do” list.

What is the 7 7 7 rule in marriage? ›

The “777” rule involves going on a date with your partner once a week, going away for a night together once every seven weeks and going on holiday alone together once every seven months. When I'm asked to trial it on my marriage of 25 years, I am – to be frank – sceptical. Our lives are already one huge “to-do” list.

What is the No. 1 rule for saving your marriage? ›

The No. 1 rule for saving your marriage is communication. All other efforts to improve a relationship will likely succeed with this foundation. It allows partners to build strong bonds even during tough times and resolve issues easily.

What is the 777 rule of marriage? ›

It's simple yet profound: every 7 days, go on a date; every 7weeks, escape for a night away; and every 7 months, embark on a romantic holiday together. 🗓️🌍 Why is this rule a game-changer, especially for busy entrepreneur couples like us?

What are the 4 golden rules of marriage? ›

Follow the four golden rules – don't lie, keep your promises, argue productively and always play nice – and your relationship will never go anywhere but forward.

What is the 222 rule in marriage? ›

So what is it? The 2-2-2 Rule involves going on a date night every two weeks, spending a weekend away every two months and taking a week-long vacation away every two years. The idea behind it is that prioritizing and planning to spend time together strengthens your relationship.

What is the #1 rule of marriage? ›

Respect each other

One of the greatest rules of a happy marriage is respect. Even when you're fighting, you have to maintain respect for each other in order for things to work. It's important to keep calm when you have disagreements. It's OK to get angry, but never resort to name calling or spiteful comments.

How to save a toxic marriage? ›

These steps can help you turn things around.
  1. Don't dwell on the past. Sure, part of repairing the relationship will likely involve addressing past events. ...
  2. View your partner with compassion. ...
  3. Start therapy. ...
  4. Find support. ...
  5. Practice healthy communication. ...
  6. Be accountable. ...
  7. Heal individually. ...
  8. Hold space for the other's change.

What is the 60 40 rule in marriage? ›

It goes like this: Both partners need to treat the whole relationship like it's a 60/40 relationship. You do 60 percent of the work, and let the other person do 40 percent. “Because if you treat it 60/40, both of you, you are always trying to take that next step.

What is the 333 rule in marriage? ›

In general terms, the 3×3 rule in marriage indicates that each person in the relationship should get 3 hours of quality time alone with their spouse and 3 hours of alone time by themself.

What is the 37 rule for marriage? ›

Out of all the people you could possibly date, see about the first 37%, and then settle for the first person after that who's better than the ones you saw before (or wait for the very last one if such a person doesn't turn up).

What is the walkaway wife syndrome? ›

There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.

When it's too late to save a marriage? ›

The short answer: When you've let too much resentment accumulate between you. You probably no longer see the good in your partner as outweighing the bad. It's likely you have few positive feelings left for your partner, or perhaps no feelings at all.

What is the miserable husband syndrome? ›

Miserable Husband Syndrome or Irritable Male Syndrome is when a man experiences hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger due to the decrease in testosterone caused by aging (andropause), certain medications, or abnormally-high levels of stress.

What are the 7 C's of marriage? ›

They can do that by understanding the “Seven C's” of marriage which include the Command for marriage, a Commitment to marriage, Communication, Couple time, agreeing on issues with their Currency, putting Christ at the center of the marriage, and supporting each other's endeavors in the Community.

Why is year 7 the hardest in marriage? ›

Of course, by the seven-year mark, partners are well past the honeymoon phase — and issues may have begun to arise. “With added time, marital struggles can include issues like poor communication and listening skills, a lack of empathy and partners having unrealistic expectations of one another,” Dr. Borland explains.

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