Everyone in our profession sings the praises of having a planned date night, even me! In fact, the Huffington Post just published an article on the importance of Date Nights. So we know that it is important, but at times it can seem like a daunting task. You have to get a babysitter, make the plans, buy the tickets or make reservations somewhere and get out of your pjs when it might be easier to sit on the couch and watch TV.
Here are three powerful rules for date night. They are designed to encourage you to follow through with your plans and provide tools to help make date night easier. Most important, to feel more connected with your spouse.
Three powerful rules for date night:
Make It an Event
Make sure you prioritize and protect the time you are choosing to spend together. Mark the night off in your calendars and protect it just as much as you would an important meeting or your child’s soccer tournament. Planning date night doesn’t have to be a chore. Talk with your spouse about what you both enjoy doing. Keep a running list of ideas or take turns choosing an activity.
My husband and I decided to write out a bunch of date night ideas, throw them into a hat and pick one each week to have “surprise” plans! For fancier dates, we get dressed and ready in different rooms in our homes for these nights. This creates opportunities for “first looks” and leaves room for sweet compliments and romance. These are just a couple ideas that we use to keep date night spontaneous and fun.
Minimize Distractions
The second date night rule emphasizes that when connecting with your partner, it is important that you disconnect from everything else. Yes, put the phones away, hire a baby-sitter (if needed), and plan activities where you can focus on each other. It is important to have time to connect with the whole family and friends, but date night should be for the two of you. Whether this is a lunch during the week or an every Friday night event, make sure you take the steps to put the focus on your spouse. If you have small children and are worried about emergency calls, keep your phone with you, but otherwise silence the phone and put it away. Shut down social media apps, so that a quick check of your phone to make sure your kids are okay doesn’t turn into a 10-minute distraction.
As for me and my husband, we decided to go one step further and plan dates that had no technology components to them. We put our phones away and get back to all the fun things that lend to connection; dinner and dancing, long walks in the woods or on the beach, etc. As a result, we are more focused on one another.
Keep Conversations Light and Fun
Use this date night rule to protect date nights from potential conflict or tense subjects. Date night is not the time to crunch the numbers for the budget or try to figure out how you are going to parent your children. This is a time to reconnect, get to know each other again, and maintain your friendship. Talk about your hopes and dreams and what inspires you. Share what you love about each other or what makes each other happy. Discuss vacation ideas, retirement dreams, or a recent hobby that you’re enjoying. Couples often get stuck in “report talk,” which is telling each other about the mundane tasks of living and the “business” of marriage and family life. The idea behind date night is that we have “rapport talk.” You may wonder what’s the difference. Rapport talk is really getting to know each other and connecting on an emotional level.
Plan regular date nights with your spouse to reconnect. This will look different for every couple so make sure you find what works for you. Add it to your calendars and fall in love with your spouse all over again.
Sometimes we need more than a date night.
Do you struggle to find time with your mate? Do you feel like you and your spouse are growing apart? Call or book an appointment online with us to gain extra tools on your journey to connecting more with your spouse.We are here to help guide you to a more connected, committed, and intimate relationship.
You might also enjoy our blog How to Get Back (or Keep) that Loving Feeling
FAQs
Basically, you and your partner get 3 hours a week of uninterrupted alone time. You can take those 3 hours all at once OR break it up into a half hour here, an hour there, etc. You also get 3 hours of uninterrupted TOGETHER time. Some women say this has done amazing things for their relationships.
What are the rules for date night? ›
Keep Conversations Light and Fun
This is a time to reconnect, get to know each other again, and maintain your friendship. Talk about your hopes and dreams and what inspires you. Share what you love about each other or what makes each other happy.
What is the 2 2 2 rule? ›
Relationship expert Dr. Laura Berman discusses the romance advice once again going viral: the 2-2-2 date rule. The guidance says committed couples should go on a date once every two weeks, spend a weekend away every two months and take a week-long vacation every two years.
How often should husband and wife have date night? ›
The report also found that those couples who participate in regular date nights at least of at least one or two times a month report greater levels of marital happiness, stability, and sexual satisfaction than those who don't.
What is the 3 date rule? ›
The three-date rule is the concept that, according to Chung, sets a standard of when you should engage sexually with someone. And as the name suggests, it's date number three that the "rule" says you should wait until you have sex. However, we know that sex is not a one-size-fits-all.
What is the love rule of 3? ›
The theory goes that in our lifetime it's believed that we fall in love three times. You could have had five boyfriends or five marriages, but at the end of the day you may only truly love 3 of those people, and each of those loves happens at a certain phase in your life.
What is the 2 2 2 rule date night? ›
The 2-2-2 Rule involves going on a date night every two weeks, spending a weekend away every two months and taking a week-long vacation away every two years.
What is the 5 date rules? ›
5th date rule is where you're supposed to either be serious or dump the person. They say it's the perfect time to know if he/she is the “one”. The 5th date rule is also a dating rule where you wait until the 5th date before having sex with someone.
What not to do on a date night? ›
10 Things NOT To Do On A Date
- ARRIVE LATE. If you arrive late on the first date, you have basically just fallen at the first handle and will have some serious making up to do from now on.
- TALK ABOUT EX-GIRLFRIENDS. ...
- USE YOUR PHONE. ...
- BE RUDE TO THE WAITER. ...
- BE DISTRACTED. ...
- GO TOO INTENSE. ...
- MAKE HER PAY. ...
- GET REALLY DRUNK.
Here's how the 777 Rule works: every seven days you go on a date, every seven weeks you go away for the night and every seven months the two of you head off on a romantic holiday. It might sound a tad prescriptive, and an à deux holiday almost twice a year could be one too many, but nevertheless we get the point.
Remember this rule! The formula: 💖3 points of contact before the date (get the vibe) 💚3 dates to collect data (get the information) 💖3 months to see if you want to take things to the next level with this person (get to your goals) It's that simple!
What is Rule 2 in a relationship? ›
Dating Rule #2: Don't put yourself in compromising situations. Basically, that means, don't be alone with your boyfriend. No good can come of it.
What is the 333 rule for marriage? ›
In general terms, the 3×3 rule in marriage indicates that each person in the relationship should get 3 hours of quality time alone with their spouse and 3 hours of alone time by themself.
How often should a husband take his wife out on a date? ›
The groups were monitored over the next 10 years, and turns out, the couples who had date nights once a month had the highest odds of staying together compared with the other groups. But that was only true for married couples, not couples who simply lived together (cohabiting couples).
How often should a wife sleep with her husband? ›
There is no set amount of sex a couple should be having. While research indicates that having sex once a week is associated with greater relationship satisfaction, there is no research that indicates that having sex more often increases relationship satisfaction.
What is the rule of 3s in a relationship? ›
It is my Rule of 3s and it goes like this: Give it three dates, three weeks and three months to see how things go with someone before you get overly attached and start planning a future together.
What is the 3x rule in dating? ›
The three-date rule roughly dates back to the early '90s. It states that if you are seeing someone new, you should wait for a third date before having sex with them (Remember what Carrie Bradshaw and her friends say in Sex and the City?).
What is the 777 rule in dating? ›
Here's how the 777 Rule works: every seven days you go on a date, every seven weeks you go away for the night and every seven months the two of you head off on a romantic holiday. It might sound a tad prescriptive, and an à deux holiday almost twice a year could be one too many, but nevertheless we get the point.
